In an effort to inject some humor and levity into what has – politically speaking – been a rather contentious couple of years in the valley, our newest contributor, known only as the “South Seattle Slew” offers up a dose of snarky satire, southeast-style. He suggests you take this new monthly column with “a grain of salt, at least one glass of water after a meal, and avoid operating heavy machinery after reading”:
Growing Excitement for ‘Light Rail to Nowhere’South Seattle residents are enthusiastic for next year’s eagerly anticipated opening of the light rail.
“Just imagine it,” gushed Othello resident Shane Damone, “I can hop on the rail and go to Sea-Tac, or the ballpark!”
The service will carry passengers from Downtown Seattle to Sea-Tac Airport as well as from Sea-Tac Airport back to Downtown Seattle. Asked if he would use the light rail regularly, Damone was less effusive.
”No, I don’t really fly anywhere. And I’m not a fan of baseball. It’s too slow for me. Unlike that super-fast light rail!”
Stacey Bramfth is looking forward to taking the light rail to work.
“Living in Columbia City and working in Redmond, it’s just a really bad commute. I can’t wait to fly across the lake on the light rail,” said Bramfth with perky, uninformed optimism.
Told that the light rail system will probably not reach the Eastside until 2020, Bramfth said, “Well, that sucks. At least I can take the rail to South Center Mall.” When informed that the light rail would not go to the mall, Bramfth’s smile melted into a look of disgust.
The light rail system is projected to carry more than 42,500 passengers every day by the year 2020. Many prognosticators are also picking 2020 as the year the Mariners will be competitive again in the American League West.
“I think that’s assuming a lot,” said Othello resident Allan Bells.
“The year 2020? That sounds optimistic. I have my doubts that there will even be a city of Seattle that far into the future.”
Bells does see some benefit to the new light rail, however.
“I can eat at the Sea-Tac 13 Coins every day of the week when the light rail opens. Twenty-four hour omelets, here I come!”
Who to know, where to eat & what to do in one of America’s most diverse zip codes!
{ 1 comment }
How did I miss this before?
Funny
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